Most of us were never taught how our nervous system works. We know what it feels like to be “stressed out” or “burned out,” but we rarely pause to ask:
What’s actually happening inside my body when I feel this way?
The truth is, your nervous system is at the center of everything you experience — your energy, your emotions, your health, even your relationships. And when you start to understand how it works, you can stop fighting against it and begin working with it. This is what I call making friends with your nervous system.
When you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or shut down, it’s tempting to blame yourself:
- “Why can’t I just relax?”
- “What’s wrong with me?”
- “I should be able to handle this better.”
But your nervous system isn’t broken. It’s doing exactly what it was designed to do — protect you. For thousands of years, it has kept humans alive through its built-in stress responses.
The challenge today is that modern life keeps triggering those same ancient protective systems. Traffic, deadlines, social pressure, financial stress, even old unresolved trauma — your body doesn’t always know the difference between a real threat and a perceived one.
That’s why nervous system regulation isn’t about “just calming down.” It’s about learning to speak your body’s language so you can gently guide it back to safety.
Think of your nervous system like a car with three gears:
- Sympathetic — “Go Gear”
- Fight or flight mode.
- Heart races, muscles tighten, breath shortens.
- Great for short bursts of action.
- Exhausting if you live here too long.
- Parasympathetic — “Rest + Restore Gear”
- Rest, digest, repair, heal.
- Breath slows, body softens, digestion works, creativity flows.
- Where your body restores balance.
- Dorsal Vagal — “Freeze Gear”
- The body’s shut-down state when things feel too overwhelming to fight or flee.
- Can look like exhaustion, numbness, brain fog, procrastination, or “going through the motions.”
- A survival response, not a character flaw.
Freeze Gear often goes unnoticed because it doesn’t look dramatic. It shows up as:
- Feeling tired all the time, even after sleep.
- Disconnection from emotions or body.
- Numbness, brain fog, or zoning out.
- Avoiding tasks that feel overwhelming.
- Using screens, snacks, or distractions to check out.
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. After years of chronic stress and uncertainty, many of us are living in a low-grade freeze response. Freeze isn’t weakness — it’s protection. It’s your body’s way of saying: “This is too much right now. Let’s press pause until it’s safe to re-engage.”
Whether you’re in “go gear” or “freeze gear,” befriending your nervous system means gently inviting it back into balance. Here are some practices to try:
- Notice Without Judgment
- When you catch yourself anxious or shut down, try: “Thank you, body, for trying to protect me.” This shifts the relationship from frustration to compassion.
- Micro-Movements
- If you feel frozen, start small: wiggle your toes, stretch your fingers, roll your shoulders. Gentle motion signals safety and begins to thaw freeze.
- Ground Through Your Senses
- Name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste. This anchors you back in the present moment.
- Gentle Touch + Breath
- Place your hand on your heart or belly. Inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6. The longer exhale cues the body’s rest-and-restore mode.
- Co-Regulation
- Spend time with safe people. Nervous systems “talk” to one another. Just being with someone grounded helps your body remember it’s safe, too.
When you make friends with your nervous system, you stop seeing your body as a battleground and start experiencing it as an ally. You realize:
- Anxiety is a protection strategy, not a personal failure.
- Freeze is wisdom, not weakness.
- Rest isn’t laziness — it’s medicine.
From this place of compassion, you create more capacity for joy, connection, resilience, and freedom.
My passion is guiding people out of stress and freeze gear, and into balance and flow – through a blend of science and soul with empowerment coaching, meditation, breath work, somatic therapy/EMDR, energy and sound healing.
If your nervous system has been stuck in overdrive or shutdown lately, I invite you to reach out to work with me.
Find me at WeBreathe Wellness in Walpole or Soul Alignment Studios in Eastham. Or we can work together virtually if you are not in Massachusetts.
Together, we’ll explore what it feels like to befriend your body, honor its rhythms, and restore a sense of safety and aliveness. Because making friends with your nervous system isn’t just self-care — it’s the foundation for living a life that feels grounded, resilient, and free.
With Love + Light,
Jenn
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